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    If the other person has children as well, it might be wise to orchestrate early get-togethers with just one set of children. But you also need—and here’s where single parents fall short—a silhouette of the type of family you are hoping to create.You might, for example, engage in an activity with your friend and their children one weekend and then have your friend join you and your kids the next. If the person you are dating isn’t good parent material (with your kids or theirs), for example, you ought to move on. Nearly 20 years of counseling, coaching, and training blended families has revealed to me this secret of successful blended family couples: They work harder at getting smarter about stepfamily living.

    So if I make a mistake or want a second look at someone, I can backtrack and revisit a potential match.

    "Once the boyfriend is introduced there is no going back, and expectations are raised," she adds.

    What to do instead: Time is the best measure of knowing when to introduce the children.

    When asked what she wishes her mom would do differently while dating, Rachel, a smart young graduate student, replied, “I wish she would recognize her own impulsivity and emotional rollercoaster.

    She does and says things without recognizing that to some extent our whole family is dating this guy.

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