If you do, it will cause you to violate even more of these “do not rules” and probably a few more than I haven’t even mentioned. Don’t put anything in email, text, voice mail, or other writing that you wouldn’t want to read in church to the entire congregation. Post stupid crap to facebook or any other social media site. That person you kinda-sorta remember from high school and friended on facebook will share the pictures of your Jagermeister induced, half clothed 2 a.m. Likewise, when you tell your spouse you are sick and can’t get the kids for the weekend, your spouse will find out if you post pics to facebook showing the great time you are having on the beach knocking back drinks with little umbrellas in them. Show anger in front of the judge, clerk, your spouse or your children. Screaming or violent outburst only serve to impress upon people that you are irrational. Fail to weigh the trial of a case on economic and non-economic terms. Are you willing to spend ,000 or more in legal fees to “win” the same thing that was offered prior to trial? Are you familiar with alienation of affection and what it can cost? It will only polarize your soon to be ex-spouse even more. Maybe your spouse does and maybe your spouse doesn’t. The more you claim your spouse owes you, the more your spouse will conger up recollections of all the things he/she has done for you. You rarely lose anything by failing to respond quickly. You will still have to deal with your ex-spouse for many years to come.
If you receive a text message saying you are a no good sorry piece of %&*^ and you reply by calling your spouse a few words that would not be appropriate in church, chances are you will see those words again in court. Failure to follow this will in all likelihood result in your new significant other becoming a witness in your divorce trial. Unless there is a compelling reason for doing so, don’t do it. You need to be the one that is learning, not the one that is teaching. You can however, piss them off or convenience them that you are hypocritical. Make proposals you are not fully prepared to live with. That great idea you had at midnight may not be such a great idea the next morning when you wake up with a hangover and even your dog is looking at you funny. Fail to realize that if you have a child or children, the divorce is not the end.
From time to time I get divorce cases that really make me scratch my head and wonder what in the heck people were thinking when they decided to get married in the first place. Few things will make your life more miserable than a miserable ex-spouse.
These are the cases where the parties literally hate each other and cannot see the other person’s view of anything. Make comments in front of your children about your spouse. They do not need to know that your spouse cheated on you or that your spouse is a %$^&$. If they are having problems with money or relationships, you will be the target of their cross hairs.
Narcissists feel superior to others and have very little capacity for empathy, making them extremely problematic to deal with, especially during a divorce.
Narcissists are egocentric with an inflated sense of self-importance & feel superior.
With that in mind here is a list of things you do if you want to have a successful outcome in your divorce case: 1. Don’t do it unless you have a good reason for doing so such as physical abuse. Make extrajudicial modifications to any court order.
It also provides the perfect opportunity for the new lover to be a witness (and generally an unprepared witness at that). Speak with the lawyer for your spouse or anyone associated with their office for any reason. They have one job which is to destroy you and make sure your spouse receives all of what you consider “your stuff.” If you value your stuff, don’t talk to anyone about your divorce except your attorney. This may come as a surprise to you, but when your spouse does that the items on his/her list will outweigh the few things your spouse remembers you have done for them. Calmly think about the situation and then respond if required. If you are unreasonable now, there is a good chance that your ex-spouse will be unreasonable with you for many years to come. Fail to understand that a happy ex-spouse is a key to your happiness.
The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th.
Edition (DSM IV), defines NPD as a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following characteristics: Approximately 1% of the population is diagnosed as having NPD, with men being diagnosed with the disorder three times more often than women.