I always ask my clients “What’s your partner’s most valuable asset – other than her portfolio?” The correct answer is “consistency” – and consistent is what people with a history of BPD are not.Constant feelings of emptiness prompt her to seek stimulation from the outside.
Treatment can only work when your partner a) Is ready for treatment – not to please you but because life has become unmanageable; b) Commits to a consistent 12-months treatment program consisting of individual and group therapy; c) Commits to working on homework assignments to transfer what she learns in therapy to real life; d) Agrees to life affirming actions in form of working on the difficulties rather than continuing down the path of self-destruction; Yes, you heard right – it’s not you who has to be ready – it’s her!
As Marsha Linehan (1993), one of the foremost researchers in the treatment of BPD proclaims in her book Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Disorder over 70% of patients with BPD present with histories of childhood sexual abuse.
Even when this is not the case, the pairing of a child with a difficult temperament (a child that is fussy and easily excitable by nature and difficult to soothe) paired with unreceptive, stressed out, or normative parents contributes towards the maintenance and further development of a difficult personality; lashing out, suicidal gestures, and self-depreciation become the hallmark of the individual with BPD.
What’s the major challenge of BPD: It comes seldom alone!
Substance and eating disturbances co-occur and mood disorders such as Unipolar Depression and Bipolar disorder generally require a combined treatment consisting of a medication regime and therapy.