Yet again I’ve fallen for someone who just wants to be ‘friends’.In the last few months I’ve been there for her through all kinds of problems she’s faced. This isn’t the first time it’s happened and I’m fed up with being the perfect partner who nobody actually wants to go out with.While others should accept you as you are, some people find addressing personal hygiene, appearance, clothing and social skills can bring benefits.Step Two: Reimagining relationships Instead of trying to be a ‘perfect partner’ consider what you have to offer. Fixating on one person and putting them on a pedestal, leaving no time or energy to meet or date others Seeking ‘damaged’ or ‘unhappy’ people you hope to rescue, save or fix; believing they’re less likely to reject you Not appreciating if someone isn’t interested in a relationship with you then they’re not ‘perfect’ or ‘right’ for you Being unclear about what you want. Sticking around when you know they’re only interested in a friendship, while being furious with them for not wanting more. Being jealous of their friendships and relationships with others. Blaming and/or shaming the person for not giving you what you want.
The main reasons people end up in unsatisfactory friendships are linked to a lack of confidence, communication problems and a fear of rejection.Petra Boynton is a social psychologist and sex researcher working in International Health Care and studying sex and relationships. Please note that by submitting your question to Petra, you are giving your permission for her to use your question as the basis of her column, published online at Wonder Women.All questions will be kept anonymous and key details, facts and figures may change to protect your identity.Avoid trying to be something that you are not, or what you guess another person wants. Saying you want one thing when you’re after something else is unlikely to make you happy.The following resources can help: Be your own love coach Flirt Coach Flirt Interpreter Step Three: Learning from the past Might any of the following be getting in the way? Step Four: What not to do The following may seem obvious but are often things people do when a friendship doesn’t blossom into the relationship they want.