"Is Pille any relation to Tom Hanks' friend Wilson from Cast Away? "They bear a family resemblance." 31 min: Avery John hasn't had much of a World Cup. He's clear, but he drags the ball right across the face of Jack's goal when it was easier to score.
He spent the game against Sweden kicking Wilhelmsson around like an empty can of Irn Bru, and was sent off. I think Pille isn't being kicked about at all, blasts Kurt Zimmerman. Which leads me to believe that he is a cheap imitation of a member of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force: Frylock.
Meandering preamble: Good evening to you (and with England playing Sweden, that's a word I'm using very much in its singular form this evening).
It's not all bad on this beat: if I was covering the England game, I'd have to sit through 30 minutes of blithe xenophobia and witless cheerleading. with that bloke who used to read the news on ITN and must wonder what the hell happened to his career. The situation: Paraguay are already out, having been worse than useless in their opening match (i.e.
I have to say this performance isn't making England's efforts against Paraguay look any better. 82 min: Latapy twists down the left, creating space in the box, but he's only got Wise to pass to. Cuevas exchanges passes 25 yards out with Santa Cruz. And he slots the ball low past the advancing Jack, who had no chance whatsoever. He's been poor, so I wasn't expecting much, but by God that was awful, it cleared the bar by about 20 feet. "They lived the dream, boy they lived the dream," simpers Peter Drury, registering 364% on this here Patronise-o-meter I've got here. It's the aural equivalent of seeing Benny Hill slap that little bald bloke on the head.80 min: The ball's just being flung left and right and left again across the face of Paraguay's goal.The ball doesn't go safe, but Wise does Paraguay's job for them by ridiculously slicing the loose ball into the side netting. 68 min: Head tennis in the Paraguay box comes to naught. 71 min: Birchall, the cut-price Roy Keane, battles hard in the centre to win himself an inch, and batters a shot from 25 yards just over the bar. "I don't understand why Gauchito has a machete in his right hand," writes Willem van Schaik, one of Holland's leading deadpan satirists.64 min: That's it, Edwards has finally turned into Pele. 73 min: Latapy lays a ball across the face of the box for His Good Pal Dwight Yorke(TM) to batter wildly wide.